Family jokes
Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”
Son: “To the playground?”
Mom: “No, to the morgue.”
Why can't orphans sign up for sports?
They have to have a parent's signature.
I have a better version of this joke.
How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.
The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂
Ur dad lesbian.
Ur sister a mister.
Ur family tree LGBT.
Ur family reunion a homosexual communion.
Why do orphans want to get married so bad?
To have someone to call "daddy."
My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.
What happened to the blind man's son?
He thought he was hitting a piñata.
My uncle is a computer genius! The police even called him a PDF file!
Wanna hear a good joke?
My dad’s love for me.
How did Peter Parker get caught as Spider-Man?
Well, he weaved a really tangled web, and Aunt May saw it.
I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.
I always enjoy family reunions.
It's always a good time meeting up with my exes.
When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)
I fucked your mum!
Why did the orphan go to the monkey exhibit?
To see his closest relatives.
Family are together playing charades.
Me: "50 Shades of Grey!" Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on, Nan!
I sucked your mom's anus.
What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.
Your momma is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches the couch.