Family jokes

A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.

The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"

"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.

The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"

"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.

A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"

"Sure," said the little boy.

The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.

"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."

A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.

She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"

When you think your mom's a virgin, then you stumble into the wrong closet.

Why can't orphans have a funeral? Because their parents won't be there.

A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”

“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.

“Let me start,” says the son.

“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.

“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.

“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.

“Your right!” He replies.

“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”

“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.

“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.

When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,

I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.

Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.

I made a website for orphans, but there's no homepage.

What do Orphans say on Father's Day?

Well, not "Happy Father's Day."

How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.

Yo' mama is a joke.

Orphans are stupid, am I right? Hehehehehehehehehehehe.

Why is an orphan gay? Because they can call somebody "daddy."

Why do orphans love McDonald's?

Because the initials are like "mother" and "father."

What's the difference between an orphan and an orange?

One gets picked.

When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?

Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not."

"Not who?"

"Not your dad."

Why is my dad gone?

I don't know.

What do orphans and sperm donor kids have in common? They don't have dads.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple can trace back its family tree.