Family jokes

Why can’t an orphan play baseball?

Because they can’t find home.

If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?

My dads just like my eggs... runny. 🤣😭🥺

Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.

What is an orphan's least favorite store?

Family Dollar, they just can’t seem to find one.

How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.

My gun is like my house, used to be full, now it's empty.

When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,

I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.

I was gonna tell you a joke about my abusive dad...

But I only remember the punch line👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

I made a website for orphans, but there's no homepage.

Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.

You wonder and you wonder. Grandma said you better go to bed now. Tell your dad and grandpa, and your dad and your mom.

My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.

I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."

Yo' mama is a joke.

GRAVEYARD SAVINGS:

While leafing through our local newspaper, I noticed this classified ad: “For sale: one used tombstone. Splendid opportunity for a family named Dingle.”

Bob: Kanye West.

Dad: No, but I can East.

Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.

Aaron: Why?

Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.

My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.

Why? Why would you do that?

What do Orphans say on Father's Day?

Well, not "Happy Father's Day."