Family jokes
What do you call an asian kid who's bad at math?
An orphan.
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're never wanted.
Do you think we should ask the orphan's parents' permission?
Wait... nevermind.
What is wrong with orphans' phones?
They'll never have a home screen.
Kenney lost his virginity to a $10 hooker, but he only had to pay $5. She was his sister, so he got the family discount.
True as fuck
Brother: "I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help."
Sister: "That’s my f***ing electric toothbrush!"
Brother: "Oh, well the offer still stands."
Why does family love family?
Because everyone has their Friday night nut together.
I got my sister a trampoline for her birthday, but she won’t get out of her wheelchair and use it.
What should you never say to an orphan?
"Your Mom."
What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?
They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.
I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
My penis is too big for my dad to suck it, so my mum sucks it instead.
Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"
Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"
What’s one thing orphans don’t have on their computer? A home page.
What do an orphan and an apple not have in common?
The apple actually gets picked.
Why did the orphan go to church?
It was because he was looking for someone to call "Father."
Ur mom gay.
What is the difference between an orphan and a blanket?
One is actually used.