You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
Family Jokes
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
Little Jonny fucked his mum.
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't run home.
Bully: Ha, guess what?
Nerd: What?
Bully: You are adopted.
Nerd: At least I was wanted!
I asked, "Mom, what's that in the sky?"
Mom replied with, "That's your father."
Why is an orphan bad at hide-and-seek?
Because nobody will actually look for them.
Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.
What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.
Your mummy so skinny, she can't eat!
Why can't an orphan build a website? Because it won't have a homepage.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why do orphans hate playing sports in school?
Because they never get picked.
What's the difference between parents and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back from the store with milk.
One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.
She asked me, "What are you doing?"
I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."
She asked, "What does that mean?"
I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."
Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?
His parents never brought back the milk.
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
"Spider-Man: Homecoming"
Why do orphans love school so much?
They have no HOMEWORK.
What is an orphan's least favorite show?
"Full House."
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Clearly not their parents."
