Family jokes

Why can't orphans have sex?

Because there is nobody to call "daddy."

Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?

Kid: A garden?

Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?

If you have a bad day, go tell an orphan to find his parents. He will be searching all day.

If an orphan took a photo, what would it be considered?

Not a family photo.

What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.

What happens to an orphan that gets on house arrest?

They get set free.

What do you and orphans have in common?

Nobody loves you.

Why do orphans play baseball?

That’s the only way they can run to home.

Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.

What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.

I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.

Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't run home.

Why can't an orphan build a website? Because it won't have a homepage.

Why do orphans wish they had a bounty on them so that they can be wanted?

You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.

Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.

Why does an orphan go to church?

So it has someone to call father.

Little Jonny fucked his mum.

What's an orphan's favorite game to play on Roblox? The game Adopt Me.

What's the difference between an orphan and a bowl of apples?

The apples got picked!

Why do orphans hate apples?

Because they get picked over.