Family jokes

Dads are boomerangs, I hope.

I saw a little kid crying today. I asked where his parents were, and he started to cry more. I left the orphanage to get some milk after that.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One gets picked.

Why can’t orphans have milk?

Because their dad never came back.

Imagine not having a dad.

My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"

Do you ever wonder why orphans buy small cereal boxes? It's because they can't get family size.

Why can't orphans have sex?

Because there is nobody to call "daddy."

Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?

Kid: A garden?

Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?

If you have a bad day, go tell an orphan to find his parents. He will be searching all day.

If an orphan took a photo, what would it be considered?

Not a family photo.

What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.

What happens to an orphan that gets on house arrest?

They get set free.

What do you and orphans have in common?

Nobody loves you.

Why do orphans play baseball?

That’s the only way they can run to home.

Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.

What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.

I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.

Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't run home.

Why can't an orphan build a website? Because it won't have a homepage.

Why do orphans wish they had a bounty on them so that they can be wanted?