Family jokes
Why do orphans always go to white vans when someone asks?
Because they want to feel wanted.
If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan.
What are they gonna tell their parents?
What's the difference between an orphan and a bowl of apples?
The apples got picked!
Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.
I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
Why does an orphan go to church?
So it has someone to call father.
Little Jonny fucked his mum.
So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.
Why are orphans so naughty at school? It's not like the teacher is gonna call their parents.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because they have someone to call "Father."
What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.
What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.
I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.
Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't run home.
Bully: Ha, guess what?
Nerd: What?
Bully: You are adopted.
Nerd: At least I was wanted!
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.
Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?
Me: 'Cause God made you.
Why can't an orphan get a tattoo at a young age?
They don't have parent permission.