Family jokes

What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?

“Here comes the airplane!”

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not your parents :) so kawaii fr.

Why do orphans like to go to church?

So they have someone to call father.

If you're bored, punch an orphan in the face. What is he gonna do, tell his parents?

What do you call an orphan that grows up to be a priest?

Father-less.

I was going to make a depressing joke, but my parents already did.

What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?

"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."

Did you hear about the orphan who ran away from home?

Wait a minute! What am I talking about?

What do my mom and a basketball have in common?

My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.

My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.

What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?

The cat is actually cute.

What's an orphan's favorite meme?

Homer going into a bush.

Might take a while to notice and this one is bad.

What's the second worst thing to happen to orphans?

They can't have sex.

"Why?"

Because they don't have anyone to call mommy or daddy.

What is the difference between an orphan and a blanket?

One is actually used.

What is the difference between Juice Wrld and an orphan?

One is loved by all.

My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."

Why can't orphans be criminals?

Because they're never wanted.

What flour do orphans use to bake bread?

Self-raising.

Boy: The F in orphan stands for family.

Orphan: But there’s no F in orphan.

Boy: Exactly!

Blood may be thicker than water, but yo mama is thicker than anything!

I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are your parents?" And he started to cry even more...

"Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.