Family jokes
1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!
Dad: Oh, OK!
2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.
Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?
Son: I do...
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
Why can't an orphan play football? Because they don't have a dad or mom.
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?
They both don't last a while.
Why did the orphan dig six feet under?
To find his parents.
Orphans are just wannabe children. They want a family.
Your mom and your dad.
My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.
Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?
So they will be wanted.
My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.
What do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common?
They're both filled with happy little accidents.
Why do orphans not build houses in Minecraft? Because they want it to be realistic.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because he was tired of waiting for the milk.
Even if orphans fail their exams, I'm sure their parents wouldn't...
Oh wait...
One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.
Why do orphans never get a car?
Because their parents need to buy them one.
Me: Knock knock.
My Grandma: Who’s there?
Me: Interrupting cow.
My Grandma: Interrupting c-
[Dies from heart attack]
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All I got was dust and my mom's wig.