My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.
Family Jokes
What do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common?
They're both filled with happy little accidents.
Why do orphans not build houses in Minecraft? Because they want it to be realistic.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because he was tired of waiting for the milk.
What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.
Even if orphans fail their exams, I'm sure their parents wouldn't...
Oh wait...
One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.
Why do orphans never get a car?
Because their parents need to buy them one.
Me: Knock knock.
My Grandma: Who’s there?
Me: Interrupting cow.
My Grandma: Interrupting c-
[Dies from heart attack]
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All I got was dust and my mom's wig.
Why can't orphans be gay?
'Cause they can't call anyone "Daddy."
Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?
They get to walk themselves down the aisle.
I punched my mom for no freaking reason.
To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.
A father came to his daughter's 18th birthday. He finally came.
What is the difference between an orphan and a robber?
One is wanted.
Your mom #69.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t have a home to run to.
Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.
I like abusing orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
