Family jokes
Your mum was so poor that she went to rob the bank, but she left because she couldn't find the cameras. She left her son, and the security [girl] gave him the camera.
A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.
First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.
Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
What do you call a dad in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
My parents found my YT channel. I hate myself now, and I'm emotional.
SELF HARM
My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.
Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.
Little Jonny fucked his mum.
What does an orphan do on school parents' day? Nothing.
Mom (DYM 65).
Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?
They wanted some family time.
What did the tree say to his sister? Wood you please leaf me alone, you son of a birch?
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find home.
What do orphans do when they get a phone? They press the home button.
What is an orphan's first step to the orphanage?
How are Tinder and orphans alike?
You swipe left till you find the one you like.
My mom came to me and shouted, "Nobody is giving me a fuck." So I went forward and fucked her!
When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale
I told my new girlfriend that my mother is deaf.
So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.
I told my mother that my new girlfriend is disabled. Now we wait.