Family jokes

Even if orphans fail their exams, I'm sure their parents wouldn't...

Oh wait...

Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?

They get to walk themselves down the aisle.

What's the second worst thing to happen to orphans?

They can't have sex.

"Why?"

Because they don't have anyone to call mommy or daddy.

Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.

My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and went right.

My mom told me a joke about boxing.

I guess I missed the punch line.

My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.

What did mommy spider say to baby spider?

You spend too much time on the web.

What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.

Q. What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

A. Cancer.

What do you call an orphan that grows up to be a priest?

Father-less.

What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?

"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."

What's an orphan's favorite meme?

Homer going into a bush.

Might take a while to notice and this one is bad.

What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?

“Here comes the airplane!”

What does the A stand for in "orphan, adopt" from the orphan company?

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not your parents :) so kawaii fr.

What do my mom and a basketball have in common?

My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.

My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.

What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?

You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.

What is the difference between an orphan and a blanket?

One is actually used.