Family jokes
Him: What's the difference between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?
Her: What?
Him: Nothing, either way you will be dating your cousin.
On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"
The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."
The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"
The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."
Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.
Son (in a happy tone): I know.
Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?
Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.
Quiet kid: "I'm home!"
Parents: "What did you learn at school today?"
Quiet kid: "I've learned that I've had enough!"
What might an aborted child want for Christmas?
..... a home that isn't a bin.
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
Orphan joke protest! Orphans are nice and kind, so stop joking about them!
Sign a comment and put me or anything else to protest about!
Good luck, Jake.
Bob: Siri, call 666!
*dialing noises*
Bob: Hello?
Bob's dad: Hi!
What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?
Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.
Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?
Kid: Sure.
Dad: Come on.
Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?
Dad: Go in.
Why are orphans rude at school?
What's the school going to do? Call their parents?
Why do orphans commit crimes?
It’s the only time they’re ever wanted.
"Yo mama so... Wait... Whose mother am I speaking of?"
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
Dad: 🦆
Kid: ?
Dad: 🦆🦆
Kid: Huh?
Dad: Ur too late...
Kid: WHAT!
Dad: .... GOOSE!
In Home Alone, if the kid was an orphan, it would just be called "Alone."
Where can white people cook better than Black people?
On Father’s Day.
My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.
My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink, but they wouldn’t listen, so he kept warning them. Then he was kicked out of the theater.
Q. Why did the boy fall off his bike?
A. His mom threw an oven at him.