Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?
Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.
Family Jokes
Me: I will f**k ur mom.
Orphan: I don't have one.
Me: ......
What is the difference between an orphan and a mailman?
The mailman goes home at the end of the day.
How many orphans does it take to repair a house? None, they don't have one.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!
What is the orphan's version of a family portrait?
A selfie.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back to it.
How do you make an orphan's hand bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come back.
Kid: Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who’s there?
Kid: Not your parents.
What do an orphan and an apple not have in common?
The apple actually gets picked.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because there was a dad on the other side.
Last Christmas was awesome, the whole family came.
Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Yo mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology.
An orphan came out of the closet to their parents as gay. Oh wait...
Sometimes when I think I'm ugly, I just think of my sister and it makes me feel better.
So I left my mom with my baby, and I was terrified when I came back; the wheelchair was in the water.
POV: You're an orphan.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your mom.
