Family jokes

What flour do orphans use to bake bread?

Self-raising.

Boy: The F in orphan stands for family.

Orphan: But there’s no F in orphan.

Boy: Exactly!

Blood may be thicker than water, but yo mama is thicker than anything!

I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are your parents?" And he started to cry even more...

"Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.

Yo mama so hairy, she braids her elbows.

TV Darth Vader: "I'm your father!"

Orphans: "Yea."

What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?

You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.

My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.

I punched my mom for no freaking reason.

To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.

One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.

Your sister is your mother.

Your father is your brother.

You all shag one another.

The Inbred family.

What’s an orphan's favorite beer?

Foster's.

A father came to his daughter's 18th birthday. He finally came.

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

My wife accused me of being immature, so I kicked her out of my "boys fort."

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not your parents.

Your mother is so fast, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

He thought he saw his parents.

Oasis, am I right?

Yo mama is so strict that Thanos couldn't collect the Infinity Stones until he had done his homework.