Family jokes
What flour do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising.
Blood may be thicker than water, but yo mama is thicker than anything!
I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are your parents?" And he started to cry even more...
"Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.
What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?
“Here comes the airplane!”
What does the A stand for in "orphan, adopt" from the orphan company?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents :) so kawaii fr.
Yo mama so hairy, she braids her elbows.
Boy: The F in orphan stands for family.
Orphan: But there’s no F in orphan.
Boy: Exactly!
My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.
TV Darth Vader: "I'm your father!"
Orphans: "Yea."
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.
My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.
Me: *Realizes*
What’s an orphan's favorite beer?
Foster's.
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?
Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)
How do adults like their cookies like their orphans?
Homemade.
Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?
Because they don't know what age rate they are...
School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!
Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*
Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?
Because they don't need permission from their parents.
I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."
(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)