Family jokes
If BLESSEDBRIAN were any more inbred, he’d be a SANDWICH.
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.
Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have?
Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you.
Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you?
Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.
Ryan and his mother had cookies that day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan.
I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.
Orphan: Am going to see my mom in the kitchen because they are always in there.
Orphan: Realizes.
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.
I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
Why do orphans play baseball?
So they can touch home.
My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.
So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.
My dad has the heart of a soldier, and a restraining order from the soldier's family.
I'm gonna finally put a stop to the fucking drama. I saw people bullying other people for years; Gwen was not the only one. No longer will I put up with this. No longer will newcomers. For God's sake, just do jokes! Please! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don’t even know each other, but we're still going through this same fucking shit every fucking day! Just make jokes, people! That is why it’s called “Worst Jokes ever” not “Bully people forever.” So shut the hell up and get to joking! Jesus! The only reason why I came here was to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don’t even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fucking world!!!
“Addison, fuck off already, you're only 10 years old. What do you know?” I might be 10, but during my time here, the tragedies and horror I've experienced on this website have shaped me into someone more mature, able to share this wisdom. And if you're gonna laugh at me, spit in the face of me and my generous teachings, you will fall. I swear to God, I will make you wish you could never feel pain. But that would hurt me more than you. Please, stop the drama. That's all I ask. Together, we can make this website great again, like it once was.
Your mama is so ugly, she doesn't have to flush the toilet. She already scared the shit out of it.
*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*
Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”
Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”
Teacher: “Why?”
Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”
Yo mama so dumb, she tried to put m&m's in alphabetical order.
Yo mamma is so dumb, she will watch Disney Junior all night long.
On April Fool's, go to an orphanage and tell them that their parents are here to pick them up.
Your mama's so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, you can see Micah.
Why are orphans so lucky?
Every crisp packet is family sized.