Family jokes

Your mama is so short, she does backflips under her bed.

Ur mum gay.

Son: Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?

Because your mother had diabetes.

Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?

Because your mother has diabetes.

Watching "50 Shades of Grey" was more painful than my uncle fisting me as a kid.

Your mom is fat, and that's a joke.

So, my mom has hit me with a flip flop when I was bad, and when I cheated on my girl, right when the other girl came in, a flip flop came flying in the room.

Child: I am hungry.

Dad: Hi hungry, I am dad!!!

Child: *groans* *walks away*

If I had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents!

The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.

Father: Son, you can do butter!

10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!

Hungry: Dad, I'm hungry.

Dad: Hi, Hungry, I'm Dad.

Hungry: Why did you name me like this? :/

Ya mum!

Your dad is your mom.

Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap.

Son: Mom, I'm blind.

Mom: Exactly!

One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."

My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.

So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."

My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"

I said, "Literally."

Your mum lol teehee!

PP almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said, "Just put it in."

A person had a child named Bl, another named Es, and one named S. The next was named You. They were a very unholy family.

Their children were shamed upon because their names spell out "Bless you."