Why do orphans have phones?
Because they don't know how to call home.
Family Jokes
Yo, Rob, you forgot to pay me cause you sucky sucky my thang.
AKA, you're up for adoption.
Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."
After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”
The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”
Evan, yo mum rode on my big PP love, dad.
Evan David Sandri is gay and he is adopted.
"Send me back, I never liked you."
Evan, me and your mom are done with you.
Evan, mom hot?
Your mom gay, Evan.
Mom hot.
Max Alexander Heart is adopted.
Boy: Why is my sister named Rose?
Dad: Someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head.
Boy: Okay, Dad.
Dad: No problem, Brick.
I like my girlfriends like my children: dead.
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo?
A selfie.
Two kids walked into a bar. They were covered with blood. The bartender asked what happened.
The youngest said, "Well, we were trying to paint our basement, but we threw the babies too hard!"
My sister said, "Daddy can you pass the salt?" So I raped her.
I was walking, and I saw an orphan, and I said, "Where are your parents?"
My father said I'm too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite, and unplugged his life support.
