Family jokes

Evan David Sandri is gay and he is adopted.

"Send me back, I never liked you."

Evan, me and your mom are done with you.

Evan, mom hot?

Your mom gay, Evan.

Mom hot.

Max Alexander Heart is adopted.

Boy: Why is my sister named Rose?

Dad: Someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head.

Boy: Okay, Dad.

Dad: No problem, Brick.

I like my girlfriends like my children: dead.

So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)

What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?

A selfie.

What do you call an orphan taking a family photo?

A selfie.

Two kids walked into a bar. They were covered with blood. The bartender asked what happened.

The youngest said, "Well, we were trying to paint our basement, but we threw the babies too hard!"

My sister said, "Daddy can you pass the salt?" So I raped her.

I was walking, and I saw an orphan, and I said, "Where are your parents?"

My father said I'm too reliant on technology.

I called him a hypocrite, and unplugged his life support.

Incest is wincest. (That was above.)

Fun for the whole family!

Next of kin, count me in!

There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted to Roblox.

One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury.

One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignored it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened.

The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!"

Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too."

Once, there was a brother and a sister that shared a YouTube channel. He named it "Penis Dick Marathon."

Mum is the best!

Children are like farts.

You can only tolerate your own.