Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
BlessedBrian’s mom’s birth certificate is a COLLECTOR’S ITEM.
Tuesday, I was looking at my family tree, and two dogs were using it.
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.
I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.
The dad finally came back with the milk!
BlessedBrian's family reunions must be like a casting call for the Addams Family.
When's the only time a rapeboat is quiet? When he got his uncle's cock in his mouth.
"Rapeboat" has six fingers on each hand and one big eyebrow. Signs of inbreeding.
Who needs dating apps when you have family reunions?
Why does an orphan hate the ending of Finding Nemo?
Nemo goes back to his father.
Your gene pool is so shallow, you could break your neck diving in.
Damn boy, you must be Nick Cannon because you don’t know when or how to stop.
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.