Family

Family jokes

Dog

    • My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

    The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

    Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

  • 1

    • Threesome

    • I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...

    It was wrong on so many levels.

  • 1

    • Theme Park

    • LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.

    Shrek- Should I pull the trap?

    *LBB’s mom walks into the trap*

    LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB

  • 1

    • Bowling Ball

    • What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?

    I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!

  • 1

    • Crack

    • Roses are red, flowers naturally cannot be black.

    I heard that your dad's in jail for selling crack!

  • 1

    • Adoption

    • Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?

    Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...

    Son: Am I kidnapped?

    Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.

  • 1