Falling Off jokes
Q. Why did the boy fall off his bike?
A. His mom threw an oven at him.
Why did Shelley fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.
Yo mama so ugly, she made everybody's face fall off.
There are three people on the steps of Heaven. God tells them all he is having a good day and if they make him laugh by telling him how they died, he will let them in.
The first one said, "I just finished a long day of work and I get home, and right as I stepped in, I knew my wife was cheating on me. I searched everywhere and I couldn’t find anybody, so I got a drink and went to the balcony, and then I saw him, hanging off the ledge of the balcony. I kicked his hands, but he wouldn’t fall, so I threw a Refrigerator at him, and I fell with the Refrigerator."
God busted out laughing and let him in.
The next person walked up and God told him the same thing he told the other person. God told him that he didn’t think that he could make him laugh more than the first person. The second guy said, "So get this, I’m a window washer on the 8th floor. I’m washing the windows like normal, and this enraged psychopath walks up and starts kicking my hands, and then he throws a refrigerator at me and I die."
God bursts out laughing so much to where he falls off his chair, and he lets the guy through. The next guy comes up and God tells him the same thing he told the last two people, and he tells him that there is no way that he can make him laugh more than the other two did. So he starts talking. "So get this, I’m in a refrigerator..."
Why did the egg fall off the motorbike?
He was shite.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
Yo mama is so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she got shot. Dumb bitch!
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Why did Joe get hit by a bus? Sally was driving it.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Your forehead is so big that when you put glasses on top of your head, it falls off.
Why did the man fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a refrigerator at him.
How did the Apple and the emo fall off the tree at the same time?
Because Paul Walker crashed into it.
What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?
With a pitchfork.
If the shoe fits perfectly, why did it fall off?
Yo mama is so fat, she falls off both sides of the bed.
Why did Sarah fall off a skyscraper?
Because she made her dad mad.
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home. As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump’s wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie. As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him.
The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him. Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn’t really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump’s friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump’s friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, “Aww, I’m lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!”
What do you call it when a drunk cowgirl falls off her stool at the bar?
A hoedown.