Hazard Jokes

What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you?

A pool table.

Are you a toaster?

'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.

I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.

It was a breathtaking experience.

What's big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you?

A pool table.

How do you tell if a blond is really stupid?

Put a scratch and sniff on a bleach pod.

A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"

The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."

The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.

I am the danger.

Are you acid, cause I want to throw [you] at my face?

What do you call my brother in the water?

"Tsunami."

God, you're more toxic than white phosphorus.

Health and safety tips: Looking at your hairline is hazardous. For your best interest, please look away.

All Mia needs to destroy the evil young girl in Resident Evil 7 Biohazard, was using a pedophile instead of serum.

I was looking forward to some toast...

So I took the toaster in the bath with me.