Hazard jokes

What's something red that is bad for your teeth?

A brick.

God, you're more toxic than white phosphorus.

What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?

— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.

What’s red and bad for your dental health? A brick.

What’s invisible and bad for you to breathe? Mustard gas.

What’s green and bad for you to drink? Radioactive waste.

Are you acid, cause I want to throw [you] at my face?

I fell down yesterday.

A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"

The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."

The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.

Health and safety tips: Looking at your hairline is hazardous. For your best interest, please look away.

What do you call my brother in the water?

"Tsunami."

Why does everyone say there are mines in Bosnia? There are no-

You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!

I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.

It was a breathtaking experience.

Are you a toaster?

'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.

What's big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you?

A pool table.

What's brown and rather bad for your dental health?

- A baseball bat.

How do you tell if a blond is really stupid?

Put a scratch and sniff on a bleach pod.

I saw a sign that said, "Falling Rocks." I tried it, and it doesn't.

I will remember my brother's last words: if you can't put a fork in a toaster, how about a spoon?

You're so short you could be drowned by heavy rains.

OKAYYYY guys, today we're going to make DIY bath bombs. I bet y'all already have the first ingredient right here in your kitchen:

*looks at toaster*