Fall jokes
What goes up must come down, apart from Mr. Vyse.
Why did the man with no arms fall off his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, had some fun, now they have 4 babies.
There were these three men; their names were Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, they were riding in their car, and Shit fell out, so Manners went out to pick Shit up, and Shut up went to the police station.
When he got there, the police officer said, "What's your name, son?" and Shut up said, "Shut up." The officer replies with, "Ummm...excuse me?!" and Shut up said, "Shut up!" and the officer said, "Boy, where are your manners?" and Shut up said, "Round the corner picking up Shit!"
There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!
So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.
So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"
Low quality
What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?
Fall Guys.
Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She was born without arms.
There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”
Being unemployed is like watching our president fall over himself on the stairs.
There’s no hope.
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
Why are there no Africans on cruise ships from Africa to America?
Once again, they don't fall for the trick!
What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?
Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.
What's an emo's favorite time of year?
Fall.
Yo mama so fat, when she falls, they have to call 999 and a crane to pick her up.
Which falls faster, a feather or an emo?
A feather, because the emos are always hanging in.
Yo Mamma's so fat that she falls from both sides of the bed.
Tried making 9/11 jokes, but none of it kept falling apart.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.
You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!
He slips, he falls, he dislocates his balls!