Fall

Fall jokes

Susie

  • "Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."

    "Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."

    "Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."

    "Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."

    "Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."

    "Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."

    "Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."

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  • Slide

  • If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered "suislide"?

    Asking for a friend.

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  • Rain

  • Chocolate rain. Some stay dry and others feel the pain. Chocolate rain. A baby born will die before the sin. Chocolate rain. The school books say it can't be here again. Chocolate rain. The prisons make you wonder where it went. Chocolate rain. Build a tent and say the world is dry. Chocolate rain. Zoom the camera out and see the lie. Chocolate rain. Forecast to be falling yesterday. Chocolate rain. Only in the past is what they say. Chocolate rain. Raised your neighborhood insurance rates. Chocolate rain. Makes us happy 'livin in a gate. Chocolate rain. Made me cross the street the other day. Chocolate rain. Made you turn your head the other way. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again. Chocolate rain. Seldom mentioned on the radio. Chocolate rain. It's the fear your leaders call control. Chocolate rain. Worse than swearing worse than calling names. Chocolate rain. Say it publicly and you're insane. Chocolate rain. No one wants to hear about it now. Chocolate rain. Wish real hard it goes away somehow. Chocolate rain. Makes the best of friends begin to fight. Chocolate rain. But did they know each other in the light? Chocolate rain. Every February washed away. Chocolate rain. Stays behind as colors celebrate. Chocolate rain. The same crime has a higher price to pay. Chocolate rain. The judge and jury swear it's not the face. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again. Chocolate rain. Dirty secrets of economy. Chocolate rain. Turns that body into GDP. Chocolate rain. The bell curve blames the baby's DNA. Chocolate rain. But test scores are how much the parents make. Chocolate rain. Flippin' cars in France the other night. Chocolate rain. Cleans the sewers out beneath Mumbai. Chocolate rain. 'Cross the world and back it's all the same. Chocolate rain. Angels cry and shake their heads in shame. Chocolate rain. Lifts the ark of paradise in sin. Chocolate rain. Which part do you think you're livin' in? Chocolate rain. More than marchin', more than passing law. Chocolate rain. Remake how we got to where we are. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again. Chocolate rain. History quickly crashing through your veins. Chocolate rain. Using you to fall back down again.

    Jumper

  • What was the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?

    Their ankles.

    Lololol get it? They fell from like 100 feet.

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  • Balance

  • So I went to the bank and a lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her over.

    Man

  • Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!

    Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!

    Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!

    Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!

    What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!

    What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!

    What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”

    How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!

    What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!

    What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!

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  • Stereotype

  • There's four people on a roof: a Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, and a white guy. The Mexican walks over to the ledge and says, "This is for my people," and jumps off. The Asian also walks over to the ledge and says, "This is for my people," and jumps off. Then, the black guy walks over to the edge and says, "This is for my people," and pushes the white guy off.

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  • Swing

  • Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.

    Knock, knock. Who's there?

    Not Bob.

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