Fall jokes

Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.

A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, "Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!"

The drunk says, "No shit, that's why I took my car!"

What was the last thing going through the minds of the people who jumped out of the buildings during 9/11?

Their ankles.

Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?

Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

Why do shepherds never learn to count?

Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.

What's big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you?

A pool table.