Fall jokes
Why did Mary fall off the swings?
She got hit by a refrigerator.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
Why do leaves change color in the fall?
Because they want to leaf their old color.
I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he's drinking a magical drink. He asks, "What's so magical about it?" The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, "Y'know, you're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."
Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What did Sarah get for Christmas? I dunno, she hasn't opened it yet.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?
The apple, because the emo kid got caught by the rope.
What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs.
What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!
Why did James fall off the swing?
He had no arms.
Why did Gemma fall off her bike?
She got hit by a fridge.
When this guy fell off a cliff, he got an A+ for egg-cellence!
What would you call the Eiffel Tower if it falls over? The I Fell Tower!
How to fall down stairs.
Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home.
As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump's wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie.
As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him, and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him.
Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn't really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump's friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump's friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, "Aww, I'm lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!"
What goes up must come down, apart from Mr. Vyse.
There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, "Momma, why is my name Rose?" The mommy cow replies, "Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born." The next calf comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?" The mother replies, "Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born." The third baby comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Daisy?" The momma cow again replieds, "Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, "Huh Ruh Buh Duh!" The momma cow says, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
I fell from the stairs the other day. It really "got me down."