Fall jokes
How did a blonde commit suicide?
She jumped from the basement window.
Did you hear about Hellen Keller falling down the well?
She screamed her little fingers off.
Johnny is very attached to his parents. He asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks, "What's that?" The mother replies, "That's my garage." He looks up and asks, "What are those?" The mother responds, "Those are my headlights."
He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down, "Daddy, what's that?" The dad replies, "That's my car." He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tells his mother and she says, "You can lay with me." He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed. He gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving. He looks under the covers to investigate and sees them going at it. He then yells, "Mommy, turn on you're headlights, Daddy's parking his car in you're garage!" *THUD*
Why did Timmy fall down the stairs?
Because he fell off his wheelchair.
A skeleton goes sky diving. Doesn't come back in one piece.
When Stephen Hawking falls, who does he call, the ambulance or the technician?
What brakes but never falls, and what falls but never brakes?
Answer: Night falls and dawn brakes.
Why did two red heads fall off the plane? Because they were so damn blind.
There's four people on a roof: a Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, and a white guy. The Mexican walks over to the ledge and says, "This is for my people," and jumps off. The Asian also walks over to the ledge and says, "This is for my people," and jumps off. Then, the black guy walks over to the edge and says, "This is for my people," and pushes the white guy off.
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
Because it died.
What's black, white, and red?
A nun that fell down an elevator shaft.
What was the last thing on the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
...
...
Their knees.
*Ba dum tss*
Did you know the people in the twin towers were great readers?
Yeah, they went through 80 stories in seconds.
My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Your mama is so fat that she doesn't get crushed by cars, she crushes cars and babies in strollers on the sidewalk when she falls and doesn't see any remains, so there is no evidence.
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
Why did Sally fall out the window?
She was pushed.
The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she was hit by a bus.