What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
Thankfully I'm still alive because I fail at everything in life.
What was Stephen Hawkins last words? System failure
i was at a milk store and ordered some milk they brought it over but spilled it on me I said that was a udder failure
puerto Rican teen: I'm a waste a failure, NUNCA LO PODRA ASER (ill never be able to do it) the mother: AI NINO ( OH CHILD ) the teen: QUE? ( WHAT?) the mother: NO TE PONGA CON ESTA MIELDA OTRAVES! ( DONT START WITH THIS SHIT AGAIN) the teen: I CANT DO SHIT RIGHT MAMA the mother: OOOHHH YEAH WELL TU SI PUEDES ABLAR MIELDA DE TI, I BOTAR BASURA! (YOU SURE CAN TALK CRAP ABOUT YOURSELF AND THROW OUT THE TRASH) the teen: QUAL ( WIHCH) the mother: MADRE DE DIOS (MOTHER OF GOD) the teen: AVIA UNA NEGRA I OTRA BLANKA ( THERE WAS A BLACK ONE AND WHITE ONE) *a phone buzzes* the teen: whose phone is that ma? unknown: MR PRESIDENT IF YOU TAKE AWAY THE CONFEDERATE FLAG HOW AM I SUPPOSED WHO THE BAD WHITE PEOPLE ARE * runs to bag opens white one and sticks hand in* the teen : HAIR GELL
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed. Father: son you can do butter
Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.
The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.
"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the coroner.
"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The inspector then asks, "What about the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" asks the inspector.
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream, the man asks do you want sauce on it? The downs kid says It doesn’t matter I’m going to drop it anyway 😂😂😂
if at first you don't succeed Maybe Russian Roulette isn't for you
All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something. Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.
My dad told me i'm a failure... I failed a math's test. Good thing theres a pole outside my house.
I believe "Self-Babtism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt"
In life it’s either Yeet or get beat and I clearly failed yeeting as a child as my dad beat me
There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
Why did sally fail her final exam?
Because she had nothing written down.
Joke:Why did the gym close down? – It just didn’t work out.
my life is such a udder disappointment what a udder failure
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
What is a failed abortion? Annabelle
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
