Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.
What do dropouts and Boeing 767s have in common?
They crash and burn.
A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"
I overdosed on Viagra yesterday.
It was the hardest day of my life.
If Shaq had a boat, he would name it "Freethrow," because he would never sink it.
A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."
Imagine failing to commit suicide; you might as well go kill yourself.
I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.
They say the first time doesn't work, third time's the charm. Ha, not!
Every time I tell a 911 joke, it bombs.
I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.
I was playing football with my friends, and I got tackled and got a penalty. Suddenly, the ground started shaking, and Penaldo emerged from the mud. He took the penalty, but since it wasn't Andorra, he missed. Shame on you, Penaldo!
Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad!
- 0 tapins! - 0 assists! - 3/3 dives! - 0 key passes! - 2 big chances missed! - 1/4 dribbles! - 2 Offsides! - 27 claps!
Better than Elanga?
My life is the joke.
If Kobe missed a shot, his helicopter will too.
Bad jokes are like the planes in 9/11, they don't land.
I don’t usually tell 911 jokes the usually crash and burn
Kobe couldn’t clutch up with the rift to go.
Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.
Your hairline is so bad that it turned Wonder Woman into Failure Man.
