Failure jokes

What do you call a failure in another language?

Me.

If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.

That one really *crashed and burned*.

I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.

You call it suicide. I call it a failed parkour attempt.

I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.

I tried to high-five a tree. It left me hanging.

I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.

My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!

The emo kid asked the tree for a high five. The tree left them hanging.

What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?

I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.

My life is like a grenade... I pull off the ring and, BOOM, it explodes!

I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that is not coming back? A: A stick.

Call me an escalator because I let people down.

Why did Wilson die? Cuz he sucks!

Someone forgot to do half the questions in the history test.

And that's what made him go down in history.

What does a relationship and suicide have in common?

I always fail on committing.

Why are we still fighting in darkness?

"Mission failed, soldier, we will get 'em next time."

Am I the only one here that actually tried to kill myself 15 times and failed every time and landed up in the hospital every time?

Why did the orphan fail all his classes?

He couldn’t do his homework.

You: I want my mama.

Me: Soz, you can't even get one.