New Failure Jokes - Page 5 - Worst Jokes Ever

I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that is not coming back? A: A stick.

Call me an escalator because I let people down.

Why did Wilson die? Cuz he sucks!

Someone forgot to do half the questions in the history test.

And that's what made him go down in history.

What does a relationship and suicide have in common?

I always fail on committing.

Why are we still fighting in darkness?

"Mission failed, soldier, we will get 'em next time."

Am I the only one here that actually tried to kill myself 15 times and failed every time and landed up in the hospital every time?

Why did the orphan fail all his classes?

He couldn’t do his homework.

You: I want my mama.

Me: Soz, you can't even get one.

I think I found the worst joke in life. For me, it's that I have always been unwanted and alone for my whole life, and I've never even been in a relationship with anyone, and I'm 31 years old, and I also know that deep down, I'm always going to be alone and unhappy. All I get out of life is seeing everyone else with someone and knowing it will never happen for me. I think that's the worst joke I can think of... LIFE.

Still living when you know you'll never find someone to be with.

I apologize with the wording to this; it's another thing I am a failure at.

Feel free to comment.

I've got not much of anything to be honest.

Been in special classes in school.

Not liked by people.

Only relationship I've ever had and she cheated on me.

31 years old and never had sex, pathetic.

Not very smart.

Don't look good.

Hate myself more than anything.

Been a failure at everything in life.

Probably be alone forever.

People treat me like crap.

Can't do anything right.

And the list goes on and on.

So the question is why haven't I killed myself yet? The answer is, I forget. I'm a extreme procrastinator, keep just putting it off because I'll probably just fuck it up anyway.

How sad and pathetic is it that all you wait for after you finish a suicidal joke is for people to like your joke, but you know you'll just be a failure at that as well?

It's all fun and games until someone fails at becoming Superman.

Things I would have missed if my attempt in 2018 worked...

My attempts in 2019, 2020, and 2021!

WATERSHARKY DISS TRACK - by Firesharky

You smell like you farted FARTED harded HARDED A B Honor Roll. All Fs, you r*tarded. OHHHH!

I was in Portugal enjoying my lunch when I saw a man choking! I wanted to save him, but a local stopped me. “That’s Penandes, he always chokes when it matters most and ghosts in big games.” True enough, Penandes’ Ghost emerged from his body! Poor Penandes, may he get well soon!