The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed. Father: son you can do butter
There was a person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.
Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.
The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.
"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector," says the coroner.
"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The inspector then asks, "What about the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" asks the inspector.
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"
The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂
if at first you don't succeed Maybe Russian Roulette isn't for you
All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something. Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.
My dad told me i'm a failure... I failed a math's test. Good thing theres a pole outside my house.
I believe "Self-Baptism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt."
In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.
There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
Why did sally fail her final exam?
Because she had nothing written down.
Joke:Why did the gym close down? – It just didn’t work out.
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.
my life is such a udder disappointment what a udder failure
I tried to catch the fog, but I mist.
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
Cleveland Browns
Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide?
Dave: No.
Jason: Well, he hit his first target.
What is a failed abortion? Annabelle
