How do you know if an Asian is a failure?
Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.
Why did the retard cross the road?
He never made it!
Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
Ben: I don't know.
Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.
People wear chokers, and I'm a choker too, because I tried to choke myself 6 times.
How to get into politics?
Fail art school.
What did Stephen Hawking see before he died?
The blue screen of death.
I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up..\n\nI now suffer from anxiety AND depression :\
Tried committing suicide last night...
Never doing that shit again, I almost killed myself!
Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!
They all call it self-baptism. I call it failed suicide.
Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.
Kobe is a legend and is nothing to joke about. Wait till you crash and burn!
Relationships are like fat people.
Most of them don’t work out.
I'm such a perfectionist that I can't even fail an autism test.
Don't worry about missing a shot after yelling "Kobe". He didn't make it either.
When you think you can’t fail anymore if you’re dead, then you fail at suiciding.
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
You keep your quality beans for the right season till you realize that you planted them on the infertile land.
That joke didn't land well, did it?
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
