Facility jokes

I was gonna go to a shooting gallery, but I realized that schools aren't open on Sundays.

Why are hospitals always freezing? They need to keep the vegetables cold.

Even if you do burn down an orphanage, it's not gonna matter. It's not like they have homes.

Your mama so ugly, when the baby came out of her, the baby didn't cry. The baby said, "What the hell is this shit?" and walked out of the hospital.

So three retards walk into a classroom...

Sike, it was the garbage. They mistook it for their classroom.

What do you call a baby in an elevator?

Lubrication.

Why is the last part of orphanage "age?"

Because it doesn't matter your age.

I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."

There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!

So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.

So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"

Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.

I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”

I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."

People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."

I saw you when I got chance at the adoption center!

An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."

What's written on the bottom of a Belgian swimming pool?

"No smoking."

Why do hospitals have fans?

To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.

I lost my job at a research facility. The people were too chill for me.

Welcome to Joe's abortion clinic! No fetus can beat us! You make 'em, we take 'em!

I don’t know why I’m in jail. So, basically, I was at a gun range, and we were supposed to hit the targets, even though I hit it.