Resource jokes

Happiness is like food, not everyone gets it.

I ain't shaking anyone's hand, not because of the Coronavirus... I ain't shaking anyone's hand because y'all out of toilet paper!

Give a man a match; he will be warm for hours.

Set him on fire; he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Son: Mom, can I borrow $50?

Mom: What? NO WAY! Do you think money grows on trees?

Son: Mom, what is money made of?

Mom: Paper.

Son: Where does paper come from?

Mom: . . .

I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.

Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

What is illegal in Africa? Water guns.

I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.

Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:

Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).

Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.

Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!

Do you know what the "W" in Africa stands for? Water!

Yo mama is so poor, she buys used food.

Yo mama so fat, she costs 15 elixir, and 3 inferno towers can't kill her!

What's the most illegal activity in Africa?

Watering the plants.

What's the rarest gun you can find in Africa? A water gun.

What is the difference between white people and coal?

It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.

An optimist says, "The glass is half full."

A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."

A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."

Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"

What's the difference between a water bottle and Africa?

One has water; the other one doesn’t.

How do you get a million fans?

Just run through Africa with a bottle of water.

Your mom is so poor, she buys used food.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day; set a man on fire, and he'll be warm the rest of his life.