Happiness is like food, not everyone gets it.
I ain't shaking anyone's hand, not because of the Coronavirus... I ain't shaking anyone's hand because y'all out of toilet paper!
Give a man a match; he will be warm for hours.
Set him on fire; he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Son: Mom, can I borrow $50?
Mom: What? NO WAY! Do you think money grows on trees?
Son: Mom, what is money made of?
Mom: Paper.
Son: Where does paper come from?
Mom: . . .
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.
Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
What is illegal in Africa? Water guns.
I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.
Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:
Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).
Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.
Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!
What's the difference between a water bottle and Africa?
One has water; the other one doesn’t.
Yo mama is so poor, she buys used food.
What's the most illegal activity in Africa?
Watering the plants.
What is the difference between white people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
What's the rarest gun you can find in Africa? A water gun.
Your mom is so poor, she buys used food.
What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.
Why can't you starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there.
What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?
Why is helium so expensive? It is due to inflation.
I'm high and it's very hot.
I need some water, but I don't got none. AHAHA.
