Why do hospitals have air conditioning?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?
In a dog pound, people actually want them.
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!
So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.
So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"
I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."
Why do orphans go to prison. Because that’s their only home
Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.
I saw a girl crying I asked her where her parents were and she started to cry even more man, I love working in the orphanage.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because no one misses them.
One day, a man visited an orphanage.
Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"
The kid cries even harder.
Toilet: hi You: hi what?
Where do you bring a canoe that doesn’t feel good?... The boat dock.
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
Welcome to joes abortion clinic no fetus can beat us! You make em we take em!
Okay so not a joke but like- There's a fucking noose in my school gym.
How is toilet paper recycled?
Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.
What did the grandma say at the hospital when you pulled the tube?...................
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?
Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.
What are the similarities of an orphan and a water fountain?
They both sprout water.
