Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."
People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."
Do you want to know why they call it an orphanage? Because they couldn't call it orphans home.
Why do hospitals have fans?
To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."
I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because no one misses them.
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.
What did the kids say hi to? A slide.
An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."
What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?
Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.
Why do orphans go to prison?
Because that's their only home.
Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?
In a dog pound, people actually want them.
What did the grandma say at the hospital when you pulled the tube?...................
Welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make 'em, we take 'em!
Why are hospitals always freezing?
They need to keep the vegetables cold.
