Facility jokes
I don’t know why I’m in jail. So, basically, I was at a gun range, and we were supposed to hit the targets, even though I hit it.
Where do you bring a canoe that doesn’t feel good?... The boat dock.
Hey, the biggest distraction will never be my tattoos in this facility if you understand what I am saying.
But in all seriousness, welcome to the biggest frat party taking place near the ocean. I am most likely going to tell my family this or maybe not, depending what's going down. I am very adaptive through different circumstances.
Welcome to Joe's abortion clinic! No fetus can beat us! You make 'em, we take 'em!
My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
The translation is correct. Toilet for disabled person shouldn't be called toilet. It should be:
What do you call a physically disabled man who is sitting on the toilet inside the handicapped stall inside the men's restroom?
Sex worker.
One day, a man visited an orphanage.
Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"
The kid cries even harder.
Roses are red, violets are blue, faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't worry, I will be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.
Why do orphans go to prison?
Because that's their only home.
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.
Why couldn’t the house see?
The blinds were down.
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight? When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
Why do hospitals have air conditioning?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
I asked a child where their parents were. They started to cry. I laughed and walked out of an orphanage.
What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?
In a dog pound, people actually want them.
What do you call a baby in an elevator?
Lubrication.
What are the similarities of an orphan and a water fountain?
They both sprout water.