Face

Face jokes

Wife

  • My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!

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  • Friend

  • My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's hairline, even though his ears are so big and his face looks like a monkey... if they were white.

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  • Stroke

  • What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?

    They have both had a few strokes.

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  • Condom

  • I went to the pharmacy the other day. I tried to buy a pack of condoms, but I pretended I didn't have enough money to mess with the cashier.

    I went back into the aisles of the store, got a pack of rubber bands and plastic wrap, bought them, and walked out. I loved the look on the cashier's face when they saw my decision.

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  • Cop

  • A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"

    The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."

    The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."

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  • Assault

  • A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"

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  • Zit

  • I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;

    What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧

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  • Name

  • Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy, but in the end, Jack got a face full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.