What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing you haven’t told her twice already.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

The chicken was in 666 pieces after being molested by gerard brutally with a rail gun covered in spears covered in his lymph his beak was ripped open and shoved in his feet after glass shards were shoved into his eyes until they came out the other side. His feet were nailed to the ground.

A child ask his father “ how do you get pink eye?” Son I was told it’s from scratching your butt, then rubbing your eyes. Then the son asks “How did I get Fungi?” As the father was about to answer. The boy says “Ohh, so is it from scratching my stinky feet, then rubbing my eye?” ———-Fungeye

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.

Mrs. Potato said: ¨I see you eye-balling that French girl!¨

Why don’t bulls play archery tjey might hit a bulls-eye

Why do we name hurricanes? To keep an eye on them

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger before my eyes. Then it hit me.

Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I’m so good that I can do it with my eyes closed

What do you call a fish without eyes?


Why did the one eyed chicken cross the road? To get to birds eye

Can u see me

Yo mama so fat, she’s the reason why Slenderman has no eyes.

Vital information: if you find a stray dog in an alleyway, don’t stare at it’s eyes.

What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye:bull’s eye

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you haven’t told her for twice

roll your eyes back you might find a brain back there

I have two eyes and am afraid of sex? A fortnite player

It squrted in my eye god dammit

Me: Mom i think i need to go to the hospital …Mom: OMG Why son …Me: Idk whats wrong but everytime i close my eyes i can see

…Think about it then spread LMAO

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: It just felt like it.