A 28-year old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online. For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.
My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told me friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him too. Confused my friend asked me what it was. I told him "The Sandyhook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."
I went on a one in a life time vacation never again
I took my sister and And cousin to a sleepover with lil Diddy who my dad‘s friend has connections with I think the experience went fine, but they were traumatized, We got what we wanted.
My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.
one day in roblox someone was arguing with me and they asked me my age. 18. they said that they were twenty two. Me: if your so smart, whats the largest daycare game on roblox? Him:Yo Hair. he said. then he left the game. and a said that is so messed up. actually that bullcrap.
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest. On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesnt experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place." So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his Re-seeding Heirline.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or no legs. One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay.
He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." T he woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
me: i did just come home from africa and guess what i saw. friend: i dont know. me: a black market.
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
as i grow older, i remember all the people i lost along the way. maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...
random Couple after their first night : Husband: it was very tasty.🥵 wife: aww thanks. Hus: does anyone had taste it before? wife:☠️
There was (1) girl. She met (+5000) guys. She had sex with each of them (x7). She became... - flip screen (=).
I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application, I asked him to show me his skills and experience but he just started diving and asking for pens and tapins, I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.
DEJA - POO
The sense or feeling you have dealt with this crap in the past.
I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed my friend who was LSD. I see a dreamer.
I was in a wheelchair for a few weeks last month. I went through a super traumatic experience, and I *wheely* hope I made a good *roll* mod
Interviewer: what are your strengths? Interviewee: I fall in love easily. Interviewer: and your weaknesses? Interviewee: those beautiful green eyes of yours...
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
