Why don’t Asians get stung by bees?
Because they are always expected to get “A’s.”
Expectation Jokes
If I grew a nanometer taller for every 2/10 woman expecting a 6’3”+ guy, I would be considered attractive.💀
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
What is white and 9 inches?
Nothing.
They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.
They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
I’m not a weatherman, but I’m expecting a few more inches tonight.
Roses are red, violets are blue, she is hot, but you're as ugly as poo.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
GF: What do you think of our love?
BF: Count the stars in the sky.
GF: Aww... It's infinity!
BF: Nope. It's just a waste of time.
Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
What does a girl want more than anything in the world?
Nothing. She's fine.
A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says, "Don't worry, there will be a third person in a little while."
Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All I got was dust and my mom's wig.
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
1979: I bet there will be "flying cars" in "the future."
2019: The flying cars future.
One day I was on my phone, then I got a text message from my girlfriend, "Hey, sexy boy, wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean...?" Then I just stopped and froze. I read the message. I said, "Yeah, sure..." She replied really fast, "There's going to be a few people there, ok." But I didn't read the next message... She said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." But I didn't read it. I walked into her house, but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise, and it sounded like HER!! So I hid behind the couch, and I looked through the open door and saw something I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!
Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!
