Everybody

Everybody Jokes

A gay guy and a trucker get in a car crash

The gay guy says "somebody call the police! This man just rammed into me!" . The trucker says "what the fuck did you just say fucker? Get over here I'm gonna wreck your ass!" . The gay man then says "it's okay everybody don't call he police! He wants to negotiate"

These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humour, they think of humour as like a happy thing because humour makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering, if I take a joke like , how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb, none they just beat the room for being black, now that joke isn’t make light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racial discriminated against, it’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind and that is important, humour at its best takes the bad thing in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny

And before you go in the comments and say i agree with rape, I don’t, I hope everybody who rapes someone to have there dick cut of, my little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!

Teacher on school bus everybody sit down now the bus is about to start Ben: I’m not going to sit down I don’t want to, Teacher: you have to or else u have to get off the bus, Teacher: “stands up” Ben: then u should get off the bus cause ur not sitting.

Everyone “look it’s super man” me “no it’s an emo” everybody “oh”.

What is the diffrence between a bag of chips and a gun...

If you pull one of them suddenly everybody wants to be your friend

A cop saw an old lady carring two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash. "How did you get all this?" asked the cop. "Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grapped by hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that nobody pees in my yard ever again." The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?" She said, "Not everybody paid."

Why did Orphans have to drink there own piss? Because last time they went to the bar they went with there dad and drank some corona then got drunk and started eating someones toenails so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody has to evacuate the bar then the Orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldnt die and loved it so then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on youtube and the boy became famous so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk then the little boy became really rich

This morning I was having a conversation with my ex boyfriend about reincarnation I said to him if you could come back in the next life as anything what would you come back as and he thought about it for a minute and says a tree that way everybody can look at me and admire me. Then he says the same thing to me I started thinking about it when these two sexy half naked studs walked by one was a jock the other on his bicycle I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat but knowing my luck I'll come back as a tampon

So I'm the Cable Guy around the neighborhood and I do everybody's table so I walked into this one house and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs I was asking where her mom was and she wasn't answering and it looked like something was wrong so I asked if anything was wrong she didn't answer so I kind of raise my voice at her but she still didn't answer and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear

One time a crow saw a peacock and then wanted to be like a peacock so picked up peacock feathers and then wear them then he starts walking and everybody thinks he's strange and then his friends are not his friends anymore and then after that he says friends please be my friends again I'm sorry I will be the way I am

Once upon a time a donkey was in the jungle suddenly he found a lion costume and then wore it then he walks around the forest and then every animal was scared of him then he got to city every human was away from him and he was chasing them when he was chasing his owner he brayed and then he figured out that this is not an real lion and then he told everybody about it then he berated up his donkey