Everybody jokes
If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.
Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!
One time a crow saw a peacock and then wanted to be like a peacock, so he picked up peacock feathers and then wore them.
Then he starts walking and everybody thinks he's strange, and then his friends are not his friends anymore, and then after that he says, "Friends, please be my friends again. I'm sorry, I will be the way I am."
Everybody is talking about Trump having leaks in his office.
I don't see what the problem is. He should just use a better fitting diaper next time.
Dark jokes are just like water.
Not everybody gets it.
What do orphans and homework have in common?
Everybody forgets about them.
His neighbor asked Hodja,
"Do you have some forty-year-old vinegar?"
"I have," answered Hodja.
"Would you give me some? I need it to prepare a medication," said the man.
"No, I won't," replied Hodja. "If I had given some to everybody who asked for it, would I have it for forty years?"
One time an ant was collecting food. Suddenly, a wind pushed the ant into the river. The ant said, "Help! Help!" and a pigeon heard it. Then, he grabbed a leaf and threw it in the river. The ant climbed on it, and then the pigeon and the ant became best friends. But one time, a hunter came to kill the pigeon. When the ant saw him, she bit his leg and the pigeon flew away from the arrow, and that's how friends are, everybody.
Why did the doorbell have a good sense of humor?
Because it got everybody's pokes!
Everybody loves "appreciation." So that's what I named my dick.
I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the ladder?"
Everybody add @christianisni22 on Snap!
He's a hot babe and he's single.
Yo mama so ugly, she made everybody's face fall off.
Hello, everybody, it's me, Mariplier, and today I'm going to be balling at Freddy's!
When you look exactly like your dead cousin and everybody thinks she faked her death.
FUCKING MENT
A gay guy and a trucker get in a car crash.
The gay guy says, "Somebody call the police! This man just rammed into me!"
The trucker says, "What the fuck did you just say, fucker? Get over here, I'm gonna wreck your ass!"
The gay man then says, "It's okay, everybody, don't call the police! He wants to negotiate."
Me: Tells a racist joke on the internet and no one bats an eye.
Also me: Tells the same joke at KFC and everybody loses their mind.
Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
Because everybody that can run, jump, and swim is already in the U.S.
What's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school?
When you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)
I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.