Everybody was kung flu dying.
It traveled as fast as lightning.
2020 was expert timing.
In fact, it was a little bit frightening.
Why did the doorbell have a good sense of humor?
Because it got everybody's pokes!
If I'm racist to everybody, am I even racist?
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.
"How did you get all this?" asked the cop.
"Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."
The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"
She said, "Not everybody paid."
Me: dozes off while driving. Everybody else on the passenger plane on September 11.
I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.
I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."
He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"
"Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."
Me: Tells a racist joke on the internet and no one bats an eye.
Also me: Tells the same joke at KFC and everybody loses their mind.
Why was everybody so tired on April 1st? Because they just finished a March of 31 days!
What do the Twin Towers and my ad's condom both have in common?
They both broke and everybody cried.
Joe mama so fat when she went to the movies she sat next to everybody Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said one at a time please Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said to be continued
Be careful, everybody, I have a red dot on my forehead, so I can record everybody!
I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the ladder?"
in my locality there was an orphanage but everybody in the locality was really sexist too so they had to change the orphanage into a brothel cuz everybody took the boys away and nobody was taking the girls and the manager didnt want to waste any 14 year old pussy . did he?
Good morning everybody, well I could say that unlike emo kids.
They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.
They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.
I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.
If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.
Everybody asks, "What's up?" but nobody asks, "What's down?"
Everybody is wondering what position Kenny will give his brother in their new company.
Probably top.
Kenny likes to be the bottom in every sexual encounter.
