Evers jokes
"I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He later told me it was the most violent book he'd ever read."
Ever noticed that "lol" looks like a person drowning?
The last time I ever made a joke was just now.
Worst joke ever: me and my user.
I asked an emo girl, "Do you ever get jealous of your phone when it dies?"
You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"
Then I start to think I was the problem :(
Just kidding, fuck that asshole!
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?
Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.
How do you surprise a 50-year-old man? By putting a 12-inch dick through his ass.
He said, "Best surprise ever!"
Don't ever tell somebody depressed to try again.
Why is Texas the worst state ever?
They only have one star.
Why is September 11th the best birthday?
No one ever forgets it! <3
Why is September 11th the best birthday? Because no one ever forgets it!
Ever heard of ligma? Ligma ba--
Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.
Kid: Please.
Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.
Kid: Everybody is hugging.
Bully: Have you ever heard of a brain?
Stupid kid: No.
Bully: You should go get one!
Stupid kid: Wwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
Ernie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Ernie "how did you sleep?" Ernie replied with "I slept amazing! I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life."
Burt replied with "Good to hear, I slept amazing too. I had a dream that I was in heaven surrounded by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."
Royal rebel and push so back, they ever marble say that drink pushback.
The first ever joke:
https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/52b8feb0514efb2cbf8ca375/what-is-the-second-hardest-thing-in-the-morning?
I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.