Evers jokes

There’s a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.

A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.

"How did you get all this?" asked the cop.

"Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."

The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"

She said, "Not everybody paid."

Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.

(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏

If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"

Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?

Yeah, it went on and on.

I saw a girl with blond hair. She was sexy and beautiful. I thought she was the most hottest girl I ever saw, so I ran up to her feeling hot.

If you're ever bored, try scaring the sh*t out of an Asian to see their eyes open for the first time.

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    • "I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He later told me it was the most violent book he'd ever read."