Event jokes
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
Why is 10 afraid?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
I wondered as the rock in the sky got bigger and bigger, then it hit the bottom of the Earth, and... "explosion!"
Q: Why don't orphans turn up to parents evening?
A: Because they don't have any parents.
i just realized my birthday is the same day i was born
Saying I'm sorry and I apologize are basically the same thing... except at a funeral.
How do you know you’re ugly?
If you always get handed the camera for group photos.
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
Where did Sally go during the attack?
Everywhere.
Why were the people during 9/11 mad? They ordered 2 sausage pizzas, but instead they got 2 plane pizzas.
Why did the skeleton not go to the ball?
He had no-body to go with.
Everyone at the Queen's funeral:
Me and the boys getting her reboot card.
It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.
What happened when the man died? Yes.
September 11th is the superior birthday because no one forgets it. #flexingonyoubitches ;)
For my birthday on Sept. 11 this year, I just want a plane chocolate cake.
There are a lot of things that explode... like cars, boats, the Twin Towers.
Someone dies.
I don’t usually tell 9/11 jokes, they usually crash and burn.
Sandy Hook is my favorite holiday.