Even jokes

What makes a joke a dad joke?

I don't know. I don't even have one as an example.

Famous last words:

"Don't worry man, it's not even loaded."

A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."

Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"

People in 1912: "Titanic is unstoppable, even God couldn't sink this ship."

God: "Bet, where are my icebergs?"

My blind friend is so annoying, he kept bumping into things even though I repeatedly told him to look where he was going.

You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.

Even a psychopath is sympathetic when an onion self-harms!

The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we've all kicked a pregnant woman before we were even born.

I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated.

Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!

Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.

Person 1: Really?

Person 2: They're not even that deep.

Your mama so ugly that even Rick Astley had to give her up.

Yo mama so poor, she can't even pay attention.

Necrophilia in Alabama is fun for the whole family, even grandma.

They have a new line of socks for paraplegics.

They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.

What's worse than depression & suicide?

Easy: LIVING. Everyday you wish you were dead but then reality hits you in the face that you're still alive and have to suffer living.

Pretend or not pretend, we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no one will notice :) no one ever does :). Living is the problem to everything. We get depression cuz of it and so much. Why can't we just die :)?

Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?

Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.

So, a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him. He was about to jump until he saw from a mountainside a little guy with no arms dancing around. So he thought, "Maybe my life ain't so bad." So he went to the mountainside. "Thank you," he said, "I was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until I saw you dancing, even though you have no arms. Dancing?" the armless man said bitterly, "My asshole itches and I can't scratch it."

A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, "Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!"

The drunk says, "No shit, that's why I took my car!"