Even Jokes

After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!

Your hairline’s so far back even Rosa Parks refused to sit there

why cant hitler join track? because he cant even finish a race

So I meet with a therapist on a weekly basis, we talk about my depression and how it's been getting worse. Recently, I've been advised about my condition, and how I've been discussing to her about being suicidal, she's been very helpful throughout it, I was even told I can pay in advance from now on, so I don't have to worry about it later.

Your hairline goes so far back even Dora the Explorer couldn’t find it.

You’re mamma’s so ugly, even the toaster wouldn’t get in the bathtub with her.

Two boys were arguing in class one day when the teacher walked in to the classroom. The teacher asked them, "Why are you arguing?"

One of the boys replied, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."

"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher. "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

Even Steph Curry can’t hit threes from behind your hairline

I am still trying to figure out why paying the covid doctors a complement is so offensive. They even kicked me out and all I said was to stay positive...

It’s sad because with all these mean jokes Stephen hawkings can’t even Stand up for himself

To everyone saying "don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying". Do you think we have it easy?? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.

How do bitches talk about body positivity when they have no body to even be positive about

Everything is so racist these days, you can't even say black paint anymore. You now have to say "Tyrone can you please paint that wall"

The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all

My grief counsellor died today. He did such a great job. I don't even care

Me having a good day Going on a walk on a peaceful day* my depression: hey whats up! Me: go away. My depression: well how rude. Me: 🙄. My depression: remeber that one tim...... Me: no, dont even. My depression: that we..... Me: nope. My deprssion: *says really fast*:said that one stupid joke that wasnt funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilt water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like yoy do every single night. Me: 😳😶😟. My depression: 😉 dont worry I'll always be here for you.

How do you make 7 an even number? Take the s out!

I SH so much, even when i die and become a ghost, you can see red striped floating around the room.