Entertainment jokes
"Transgenders men in disguise".... A xxx Transformers parody coming soon to DVD.
Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
Me: U know the show called Imagine Dragons?
Friends: No, what is it?
Me: Imagine dragon this nuts across yo mouth.
My friend: "Ya mama so stupid, she sits on the TV and watches the couch!"
Me: "That joke's older than your mom!"
Memes
Why can’t Michael Jackson win a race?
Because he’s always coming in a lil’ behind.
Where did the cow go on his first date? To the moovies.
Rape isn't funny unless she's laughing, too.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
Why do people watch hentai?
Because they are as fake as pornstars are.
My aim is cursed; one of my Angry Birds hit a field.
TommyInnit is a joke.
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
What is a tornado's favorite game?
Twister!
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
The American Dream is real. It's just set and filmed in Toronto and not Texas.
People shouldn’t be afraid during a zombie apocalypse.
They can stay in their living room.
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
I figured I would steel it and put it on this site. I mean, it was either that, or lose it forever.
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!