Entertainment jokes
Who is the biggest slut in the world? Ms. Pacman, because you give her 25 cents and she swallows balls until she dies.
Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.
Me: U know the show called Imagine Dragons?
Friends: No, what is it?
Me: Imagine dragon this nuts across yo mouth.
My friend: "Ya mama so stupid, she sits on the TV and watches the couch!"
Me: "That joke's older than your mom!"
Why can’t Michael Jackson win a race?
Because he’s always coming in a lil’ behind.
Memes
Why did Michael Jackson decide to sell the ranch?
Because it was over 10 years old.
Where did the cow go on his first date? To the moovies.
Rape isn't funny unless she's laughing, too.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
"Transgenders men in disguise".... A xxx Transformers parody coming soon to DVD.
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
Why do people watch hentai?
Because they are as fake as pornstars are.
Michael Jackson's nose is so steep, it can be a ski ramp.
TommyInnit is a joke.
Been watching Smackdown DVDs, and I'm so erect right now. I'm so bricked up.
My aim is cursed; one of my Angry Birds hit a field.
What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
What is a tornado's favorite game?
Twister!
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!