End jokes

Twitter just blew my mind.

I was having a blast until I ended the stream with a bang!

My brother eats water from the pig factory at 1:00 a.m., and blames a deaf kid, so he ended up going to solitary.

What do you call two brunettes and a blonde in the NFL?

Two tight ends and a wide receiver!

I'm a magician. Watch my closing act at the end of the rope.

I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia.

So I ended up doing the YMCA.

What's the resemblance between a microwave and human reproduction?

They both make a sound at the end.

If you are friendly on a game, should I will kill you in the game? You should say, "Will, if you did kill me, I will tell my more friendly to ban you from the game." The friendly should [ask], "What you got?" Friendly on the game [replies], "Jack, you are not my friendly, the all friendly you be ban, if you don't get it, will have fun." If you don't like the text, I am come for you. Ok, now like it, the end.

Hairline so big people had to time travel to find the end of it.

Why did the bullet end up losing his job?

Because he got fired!

A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."

"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.

"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."

Who ended Franz Ferdinand's COD account?

He ended with a Black Handed bang.

One day I visited my friend in a hospital.

I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"

Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.

Pro lifers: End abortion!!!

Pro lifers after school shooting: But not this abortion.

Who knows? Maybe the end of the world will be made in China too.

What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?

"That rotten asshole split on me again!"

Yo hairline so far, that if you put tables on it, it would NEVER end.

End everything and your life, Steven Roca!

I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

911.

911 who?

You said you would never forget.

What do you call a pencil with no end?..

Pointless.