Employment jokes

A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...

I have so many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.

If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.

And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!

Why can't orphans work at SC Johnson?...

Because it's a FAMILY company.

Where do mermaids get a job?

At the kelp wanted station.

What’s the difference between a job and a wife?

The job keeps sucking after 5 years.

Why did the female dicktator get fired? She had too much dick!

After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer.

The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.

My ex got hit by a bus yesterday. I nearly lost my job.

Hi, I got fired. Oh, don't know which fire? Oh, the one that I got burned on, the volcano.

What is a suicidal horny person's job?

A butcher.

I lost my job at the bank today. A lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

I saw an orphan crying the other day, so I asked, "Where are your parents?"

God, I love working at an orphanage :)

How to get 60 Translink workers? Please head out of the pool because ya'll are fat. Oh wait, didn't you poop yourself? Say sorry to your underwear while pooping as a fat Canadian Translink worker, little boy.

I saw a kid crying. I asked him what's wrong, where are your parents? They paused and looked at me funny... GOD I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE.

Why can't orphans work at SC Johnson?

Because it's a family company.

Q: Why do orphans work at Olive Garden?

A: Because when you're there, you're family.

How did the bullet lose its job? It got fired!

What's another place orphans can't work at besides SC Johnson?

The Home Depot.

I saw this little girl crying. I asked her where her parents were. She cried more, man, I love working at an orphanage.