Employment jokes
UGHHHHHHH TODAY WAS TERRIBLE! My wife got hit by a bus!!! And I lost my job as a bus driver!
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus. I lost my job as a bus driver.
My sister lost two things today:
1: Her virginity.
2: Her job at the zoo.
Why do midgets work at Tesco?
Because every little helps.
"Today was the worst day ever." "Why?" Because my ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Would you mind just peeing into this cup, please? It's the one the annoying receptionist uses.
How come an orphan can't work for SC Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
I got to work.
Ben: Oh no, my boss is here. I hate my job and I'm terrified of my boss.
Ben: Uh, hey, hey Mr. Boss.
Boss: Have a nice day.
Ben: Ok, bye!
Boss:??
I would tell you a joke about unemployed people, but they don’t really work.
Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a haunted house......
And came back out with a job application, then that ran away *CAUSE SHE'S A UGLY FUCK*
So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"
Why can't he say that?
Answer: He works at an orphanage.
I saw a kid crying today and asked them, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working at an orphanage!
What's an orphan's least favorite day? Take your kid to work day.
The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."
The students said, "Oof, that is sad."
The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"
The students said, "Your parents."
The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.
I would rather do my own laundry, not my uncle's laundry, because I ain't no damn butler like Alfred from Batman. I don't live in no damn Batcave by Gotham tity.
Why can't orphans work at S. C. Johnson? Because it's a family company.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company...
Do you know how I lost my music teacher job?
I tried to hit G by putting D.
I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.
It was soda-pressing.
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.
The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."
The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."