Employment jokes

I would tell you a joke about unemployed people, but they don’t really work.

Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a haunted house......

And came back out with a job application, then that ran away *CAUSE SHE'S A UGLY FUCK*

So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"

Why can't he say that?

Answer: He works at an orphanage.

I saw a kid crying today and asked them, "Where are your parents?"

God, I love working at an orphanage!

What's an orphan's least favorite day? Take your kid to work day.

The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."

The students said, "Oof, that is sad."

The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"

The students said, "Your parents."

The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.

I would rather do my own laundry, not my uncle's laundry, because I ain't no damn butler like Alfred from Batman. I don't live in no damn Batcave by Gotham tity.

Why can't orphans work at S. C. Johnson? Because it's a family company.

Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?

Because it's a family company...

Do you know how I lost my music teacher job?

I tried to hit G by putting D.

I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.

It was soda-pressing.

A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.

The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."

The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."

Why would a man spend his whole career at a barn?

Because it's stable.

Jobs,

50 shapes head.

Job sucks. XD

Orphans can’t work at Johnson and Johnson because it’s a family company.

So, this woman had a job. She wanted to hang out with her boyfriend, so she lied about having the coronavirus. Then she got out of work. Then she was texting her boss when she thought she was texting her boyfriend. Then she said, "I lied. Now we can...you know...water...sigh...lick...sigh." Then her boss texted, "Ew and YOU'RE FIRED."

One more story: One day this teen named Alexis got kicked out of a house, then went to live with her boyfriend. Then she got pregnant and posted it all on social media.

My aunt worked as a human cannonball.

I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired.

A man goes into a job interview and sits down.

The interviewer is looking over his resume and says, "I see here that there's a 4-year gap on your resume. What were you doing?"

The man says, "Oh, that was when I went to Yale!"

The interviewer is impressed and says, "That's great! You're hired!"

The man smiles. "Really? I'm so glad, because I really need this Yob."

I gave up my seat to blind lady because she couldn't find any--let's just say I lost my job as a bus driver.