Employment jokes
Man: I'm here for the job interview.
Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews.
Man: Just anywhere?
Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right?
Man: Yeah, that's me.
(Shakes hands and sits back down)
Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson?
Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. It really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir.
Employer: I like you already, you're hired!
Man: Wow, thanks, sir. I know I won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job!
Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy.
Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade?
Employer: No.
Man: This... This is a photography job, right?
Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *pauses porn* Why?
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.
Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.
Why can't orphans work at S. C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator? He was fired because he couldn't learn the route.
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...
I have so many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
Why can't orphans work at SC Johnson?...
Because it's a FAMILY company.
Where do mermaids get a job?
At the kelp wanted station.
What’s the difference between a job and a wife?
The job keeps sucking after 5 years.
Why did the female dicktator get fired? She had too much dick!
After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer.
The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.
My ex got hit by a bus yesterday. I nearly lost my job.
Hi, I got fired. Oh, don't know which fire? Oh, the one that I got burned on, the volcano.
What is a suicidal horny person's job?
A butcher.
I lost my job at the bank today. A lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I saw an orphan crying the other day, so I asked, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working at an orphanage :)