Employment jokes

A guy sees a kid crying, and the guy walks up to the kid and asks, "Where are your parents?"

God, I love working at an orphanage!

I got fired for not doing enough work.

Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.

I saw this kid sitting on the sidewalk and asked him where are his parents?

I love working at an orphanage.

What do you call an unemployed Rastafarian?

Jah Bless.

So a kid was crying... I asked him what was wrong.

I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE!

Women be like, "Equal rights, equal pay," then decide that they don't want to do labor intensive jobs.

I got a job at a library once. I got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

Why do women need a pay rise? Isn't the glass ceiling high enough?

She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!

Yo mama is so ugly, she walked in a haunted house and walked out with a job application.

Little boy: Momma?

Mom: Yes, my dear.

Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.

Mom: Why!?

Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.

Man: I'm here for the job interview.

Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews.

Man: Just anywhere?

Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right?

Man: Yeah, that's me.

(Shakes hands and sits back down)

Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson?

Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. It really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir.

Employer: I like you already, you're hired!

Man: Wow, thanks, sir. I know I won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job!

Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy.

Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade?

Employer: No.

Man: This... This is a photography job, right?

Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.

Boss: You're fired.

Me: *pauses porn* Why?

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.

Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?

Because every Lidl helps.

Why can't orphans work at S. C. Johnson?

Because it's a family company.

When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.

Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator? He was fired because he couldn't learn the route.

A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...

I have so many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.