Employment jokes
How can a gay man that is unemployed be productive in the workplace?
Give a blowjob to other gay men in the workplace for money.
The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.
So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.
Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.
Kid: Hi.
Janitor: Wtf you want, kid?
Kid: Why are you rude?
Janitor: 'Cause I have a shitty job.
What type of work can orphans do? Homework.
A guy sees a kid crying, and the guy walks up to the kid and asks, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working at an orphanage!
I got fired for not doing enough work.
Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.
I saw this kid sitting on the sidewalk and asked him where are his parents?
I love working at an orphanage.
What do you call an unemployed Rastafarian?
Jah Bless.
So a kid was crying... I asked him what was wrong.
I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE!
Women be like, "Equal rights, equal pay," then decide that they don't want to do labor intensive jobs.
I got a job at a library once. I got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.
Why do women need a pay rise? Isn't the glass ceiling high enough?
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
Yo mama is so ugly, she walked in a haunted house and walked out with a job application.
Little boy: Momma?
Mom: Yes, my dear.
Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.
Mom: Why!?
Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.
Man: I'm here for the job interview.
Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews.
Man: Just anywhere?
Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right?
Man: Yeah, that's me.
(Shakes hands and sits back down)
Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson?
Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. It really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir.
Employer: I like you already, you're hired!
Man: Wow, thanks, sir. I know I won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job!
Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy.
Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade?
Employer: No.
Man: This... This is a photography job, right?
Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *pauses porn* Why?
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.
Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.