Route

Route jokes

Head

A guy is due to meet his friends for drinks at a bar but arrives late. When he does eventually turn up his friends ask why he is late.

The guy says, "Well, you won't believe what just happened. I was walking my usual route via the rail tracks when suddenly I saw a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks. Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her."

The friends are cheering and one friend asks, "So... did you get any head?"

The guy replies, "No, I couldn't find it."

  • 9
  • School Bus

    What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.

    JFK

    Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.

    Memes

    Tour Guide

    As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

    Girl

    What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?

    Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.

    Walk

    I did a good walk and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and people live in the house with my dog. I had to a dog and.

    Job

    Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?

    He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.

    Droid

    What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?

    R2 Detour.

    Hurricane

    Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!

    Walk

    I did a walk walk and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home.

    Coach

    The coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.

    Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.

    One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!

    He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!

    Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"

    He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.

    The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.

    "Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"

    "Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."

    The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"

    "I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."

    Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."

    Memes

    Community

    Have you ever wanted something that was so clear in your mind that you could taste it? You mean like human flesh? Eh, sort of It's a feeling like a rumbling in your gut that you could finally be faced with A billion needy faces I guess what I mean to say is, for the first time in my life I might have to be ready for this Ready to be the one who's leading from the front Gotta come into my own Gotta come into my throne… Read more

    GENESIS 14 Abram Rescues Lot 1At the time when Amraphel was king of Shinar, Arioch king of Ellasar, Kedorlaomer king of Elam and Tidal king of Goyim, 2these kings went to war against Bera king of Sodom, Birsha king of Gomorrah, Shinab king of Admah, Shemeber king of Zeboyim, and the king of Bela (that is, Zoar). 3All these latter kings joined forces in the Valley of Siddim (that is, the Dead Sea Valley). 4For twelve … Read more

    Little Sara, you're a diamond in the rough And I know that you don't hear this all enough And I'm sure that's why your wrists have tons of cuts And I'm sure that's why you think you're not enough On your nineteenth birthday you thought that you were done Tons of people in your home, but it only felt like one 'Cause your brain can only think about the waiting loaded gun But your friends are all still here, so pretend … Read more