Emotion jokes
I have a heart, alright. I just happen to see a mere hollow shell of one coming from you.
I only have 4 moods:
• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you
I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:
• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything
and don't forget the inevitable
• fuck it
and for those who have just given up
• fuck
This is beautiful.
I cried while my parents were cutting onions... onions was such a good dog.
A horse, a fox, and a bunny join together and make a rock band. They started doing tiny gigs, but they got famous and went on tour. They all got so famous it went to their heads, and the band disbanded. The fox made his, and the bunny made her own. The horse was sad that the band was no more, so he went to a bar, and the bartender asked why the long face?
I started crying when Dad was chopping onions.
Onions was a good dog.
If gay means happy, then I'm extremely homophobic.
Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
Why is drinking soda so sad?
It's soda-pressing.
I started crying when my dad was cutting onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
What's the difference between babies and onions? I cry when I cut onions.
Me: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Me: No-one.
Person: No-one who?
Me:...........
I cried when my dad cut onions. Onions was such a good dog.
I'm all panic and no disco.
Please stop hurting people's feelings, or they'll hang around the house.
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despresso.
If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.
If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.
Dad: Alive.
Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).
Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.
Mother: Alive...
Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
Does anyone else just want to die, or is it just me?
I cry when you leave the room. They're tears of joy because you have an ugly hairline.