New Emergency Jokes - Page 3 - Worst Jokes Ever

I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.

*gets hit by a car*

Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"

Me: "Please...I need my...phone."

*opens twitter*

Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"

What do you call a special police officer?

Officer down!

The 11th of September is considered 9/11 in America. The Twin Towers fell on 9/11 in 2001, but to call an emergency in America, you dial 911! 😮 You could say they dialed that correctly.

I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.

So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!

Why did so many people die in the Grenfell Fire Disaster in London?

All the exit signs were in English.

Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.

Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.

Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?

'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.

What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.

A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.

When Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital, immediately the maternity ward was put on lockdown.

I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am.

This ain't a joke, but the Twin Towers said their favorite number is 911.

The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.

My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.

Paralyzed Man: *gets up* I’m out of here!

Blind Man: Did that paralyzed man just get up?

Deaf Man: Did that Blind Man see that paralyzed man get up?

Mute Man: Did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?

Dead Man: Did that mute man just say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?

“Normal” Man: Did that dead man hear the mute man say did that deaf man hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?

Doctor: *calls 911*

911 service: 911 what’s your emergency?

Doctor: Yes, uh, a “normal” person just said that did that dead man just hear a mute man say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see a paralyzed man get up?

911 service: *hangs up*

911 what's your emergency?

"Burning in toaster."

"Toast?"

"Yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast?"

"Set fire to my forest!"

My brother apparently has this thing called "asthma". Anyway, I took his vape away today, and he was lying on the floor gasping for air, lol. He must really be addicted to it.