What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? Magic!
Election Jokes
If I ever ran for public office, I'd make Rajan a call center employee again.
My name is Joe Biden, and I am running for US Senate.
Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.
He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.
Hillary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected into office.
Sorry, it was supposed to say "Female," but the "emale" got deleted.
Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...
Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.
Voting is like doing a group project in school.
I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.
Who are cats going to vote for in November? Hillary Kitten.
Biden
Hillary for president.
A day in the life of a Biden voter.
$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.
No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.
$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.
50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.
No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.
Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.
New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.
Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.
Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.
What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?
The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.
(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)
Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.
Politics.
Biden: Shut up, Trump, disrespectful!
President: You are the one with the inappropriate hair touching, bro. 😎😎😎😎😎😎
Biden: -laughs hard because sloppy Joe can't do anything.
Trump goes to a bar and sees Hillary Clinton. He goes up to her and says, "Buy me a drink." She replies angrily, "Get your own drinks. What kind of a man asks a woman to buy him a drink?" Trump responds, "The kind that will grab you by the p***y."
Vote Biden or Trump, I like neither, but I want to know what the world would say. (Don't judge other people.)
Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?
I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.
What do you call a Democrat that is a progressive?
A Democrat that lost in a presidential election.
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
