Election jokes
Why are Democrats represented by the donkey? Because some Democrats can be such an ass!
Hillary Clinton is elected president...
And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
Donald Trump is getting all the perks of 2020. He got COVID and lost his job.
Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...
Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.
Joe Biden
Like if you're voting Trump 2024! WOOOOO!
What do you call the White House when a woman becomes President? A stable.
Biden is a joke. Trump is AMAZINGLY AWESOME!
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
Trump cheated so much he cheated himself out of an election!
What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...
We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...
Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him.
I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!
He only won the election because of rigging.
82 million votes my ass.
Ask me for proof.
Trump did 1/6.
Who are voting for this election? I'm voting for Tricity, so vote for Tricity. Electricity!
If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.
Trump said: "Let's make America great again."
Translation by Democrats:
"Let's fake America again."
What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?
Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔
How do you spell "cognitive mess?"
J.O.E. B.I.D.E.N.
Joe Biden said he was going to a petting zoo.
Trump said schools are not petting zoos.