Election jokes
These days, there are only two political parties in India: BJP and anti-BJP.
Biden 2020.
How does someone with Down's Syndrome vote?
Through a special ballot.
Hillary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected into office.
Sorry, it was supposed to say "Female," but the "emale" got deleted.
Seriously, who wants fucking Annoying Orange as president?
Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.
He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.
How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?
He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!
Joe Biden
Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment?
Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!
Why are Republicans supporting giving felons the right to vote?
Because their own personal jeebus is a felon!
I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"
I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.
We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.
Why is Donald Trump so desperate to break into the White House?
Most landlords cannot lease their properties to him due to the fact that he is a felon.
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.
"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job," replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop," said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop," said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated, replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
Q: Why didn't the Oak tree win the election?
A: He didn't get the votes he was oaking for, because he was not the popular vote.
If I'm racist for voting Trump, then you're a pedophile for voting Biden.
What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent?
"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!"
If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.
And together we will make America great again.
You were never great in the first place.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.