Election jokes
Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...
Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.
Hillary Clinton is elected president...
And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
Donald Trump is getting all the perks of 2020. He got COVID and lost his job.
Joe Biden
Like if you're voting Trump 2024! WOOOOO!
Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him.
I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!
Biden is a joke. Trump is AMAZINGLY AWESOME!
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
What do you call the White House when a woman becomes President? A stable.
Trump cheated so much he cheated himself out of an election!
What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...
We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...
He only won the election because of rigging.
82 million votes my ass.
Ask me for proof.
Trump did 1/6.
What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?
Chelsea Clinton.
If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.
Who are voting for this election? I'm voting for Tricity, so vote for Tricity. Electricity!
Trump said: "Let's make America great again."
Translation by Democrats:
"Let's fake America again."
What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?
Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔
I was voting for Trump in the 2016 election. It's been a while since the last presidential assassination...
How do you spell "cognitive mess?"
J.O.E. B.I.D.E.N.