Education

Education jokes

Punishment

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They gave her a cheese grater and told her it was a book.

School

The fact I couldn't hear the announcements at my school because the boys in my advisory are clapping with no hands should be a joke just in itself. They were making sexual faces as well, oh, and don't forget the moaning they do.

Funeral

Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”

No? Shame, it was real fun.

Magazine

I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.

Memes

School Shooter

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?

Marriage

Marriage is really educational.

When I was single, I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put a fork in the dishwasher.

Kid

What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?

A hypoteNUSE!

Cookbook

My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.

Board

Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.

Math

Why are Asians good at math?

Because the dog can’t eat their homework.

People

There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.

Blade

My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?

Dog

What is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?

NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!

Blonde

Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?

Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.

Blonde

Why did the blonde have sex with the Mexican?

Because her teacher told her she had to do an essay.

Airplane

I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.