Education jokes

Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."

Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"

Why did the orphan have to go to public school? He could not be home-schooled.

What's America's best class?

Gun 101.

Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"

Why was an oven so smart?

It had 70 degrees.

Why can an orphan not have homework? They do not have a home.

Teacher: Is anyone's parents missing?

Students: Yeah, yours.

Did you know that..

Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.

Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.

The extra detention didn't do much, but the extra chromosome definitely did.

When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.

What grade is the worst, like if in elementary?

I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.

I found a key that works for every door at my school.

Why do people hate math? They always get hungry while learning about the pie chart.

Teacher: I was an orphan as a child.

Student: Sorry to hear.

Teacher: Is anyone missing today?

Student: Your parents.

My teacher says no phones allowed. I say my phone is allowed because I’m nobody, Dania.

If you're taking notes in history class, aren't you just rewriting history?

Teacher told me to turn in my essay, but I ain't no snitch, fool.

Student: Why does everyone hate me?

Another student: Because U got the A last night.

How do you trap a shape? You use a trapezoid.