Education jokes

What’s the difference between 69 and High School?

In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.

New teacher: Everyone stand up if you think you are stupid.

Student: Stands up.

Teacher: Why did you stand up?

Student: I hate seeing you stand up there by yourself.

Someone forgot to do half the questions in the history test.

And that's what made him go down in history.

At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"

Why did the question come to life? Answer: The adding, subtracting, times, dividing by, and equals signs came to life and squished pages.

Teacher: Tell me about the history of Tsar Nicholas (blah blah blah).

Student: How should I know, that's his story?

How do you trap a shape? You use a trapezoid.

Are multiple choice questions too easy?

A) Yes.

Using Pi, distract that fat kid next to you and copy his answers.

We have a new member of staff here today. He has no arms, no legs, and no body. He will be known as "The Head."

Why are fish smart?

They live i a school.

What does an orphan do on school parents' day? Nothing.

I was walking home, then I saw a "Wait" sign. A man came and took me. I'm still waiting for him to ask for a lesson.

There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.

When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.

She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"

54 students died that day.

What did the boy say to his brother at chemistry class?

"Hey BrO!"

A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."

A boy throws his bag out the window.

The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"

The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."

Why do elves go to school?

To learn the elf-abet.

Dating a girl and studying mathematics, both give a headache.

What was the scariest thing Helen Keller ever read?

The waffle iron.