Education jokes

So there was a reason why I hated math.

I suck at problem-solving.

What's the smartest insect? A spelling bee!

Student: It's hot in here.

Teacher: That's because I'm in here.

What do dropouts and Boeing 767s have in common?

They crash and burn.

The Lenovo computers at school stopped working.

They had to call an archeologist.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to finish his essay, or the teacher was gonna whoop his fat butt cheeks!

Heaven is like university: no one gets in.

How did the nut study for its test?

It used the inter-nut.

The bell rings, and Ana was about to leave, but the teacher said, "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do."

The next day, Ana was late, and the teacher asked, "Why are you late?" Ana replied with, "The bell doesn't tell me when I should arrive, I do."

New teacher: Everyone stand up if you think you are stupid.

Student: Stands up.

Teacher: Why did you stand up?

Student: I hate seeing you stand up there by yourself.

What do Americans call high school?

A shooting range.

Why was an orphan loving school?

Because the people actually came back.

Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."

Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"

Why did the orphan have to go to public school? He could not be home-schooled.

What's America's best class?

Gun 101.

Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"

Why was an oven so smart?

It had 70 degrees.

Why can an orphan not have homework? They do not have a home.

Teacher: Is anyone's parents missing?

Students: Yeah, yours.

Did you know that..

Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.

Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.