Education jokes

If you're taking notes in history class, aren't you just rewriting history?

I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.

Why do people hate math? They always get hungry while learning about the pie chart.

Teacher: I was an orphan as a child.

Student: Sorry to hear.

Teacher: Is anyone missing today?

Student: Your parents.

My teacher says no phones allowed. I say my phone is allowed because I’m nobody, Dania.

The extra detention didn't do much, but the extra chromosome definitely did.

When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.

What grade is the worst, like if in elementary?

I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.

Why do elves go to school?

To learn the elf-abet.

Why didn't the right angle go to college? Because he had 90 degrees.

Student: Why does everyone hate me?

Another student: Because U got the A last night.

What’s the difference between 69 and High School?

In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.

The bell rings, and Ana was about to leave, but the teacher said, "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do."

The next day, Ana was late, and the teacher asked, "Why are you late?" Ana replied with, "The bell doesn't tell me when I should arrive, I do."

Teacher's pen is RED, our pen is BLUE, she is marking an EGG on my marksheet, left with questions and no CLUE.

When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"

How did the nut study for its test?

It used the inter-nut.

Why did the question come to life? Answer: The adding, subtracting, times, dividing by, and equals signs came to life and squished pages.

A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."

The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)

What do teachers eat? They eat square stuff.