Education Jokes

Teacher: What’s 2+2?

Jimmy: 2+2=feEesh

Teacher: Well, Jimmy I can see you're going places, not college, but places.

Idiot 1: Why are cows good in math?

Idiot 2: I don't know why.

Idiot 1: Because they have built-in cowculators!

I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.

What did the angler say to his students at the end of his fishing class?

Catch you later!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Pencil.

Pencil who?

Oh, never mind, it's pointless.

It's true though

The image shows a math quiz with the question: 'Matt has 5 cookies. Alli eats 3 of the cookies. How old is Alli?' The text above the quiz reads 'Teacher: the test isn't that confusing.' and 'The test:'. The quiz is labeled 'MATH QUIZ'.

Student: Why does everyone hate me?

Another student: Because U got the A last night.

Why didn't the right angle go to college? Because he had 90 degrees.

I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.

I just cut everyone.

I’m enyaw and I fancy my PE teacher. She is called Kelly Pearce and I go to Beckfoot Oakbank. I always watch her because I am a creep. I live at school under the stairs, but I also try [to] follow her home, and if I'm unsuccessful I look her up on a dodgy website and go on Google maps and look at her door.

Teacher: Tell me what's the solution of this equation? 30g + 24y + 15a - x^3 = 0

Student: 69 gay = xxx

Teacher: You're out!!!

Student lies down on the floor, and then teacher starts f...ing him ^_*

😂😂😂😂

Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.

“Correct,” says the teacher.

The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.

“Correct again,” says the teacher.

The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.

This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”

Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”

The teacher fainted.

In kindergarten, we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words.

Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit."

One day little Jonny is in class. It is the second day back to school. The teacher is annoyed with the kids, so she goes to the front of the class and says, "If you think you are stupid, stand up." Little Jonny stood up.

The teacher asked him, "Why do you think you're stupid?" Little Jonny said, "I don't think I am stupid."

Then the teacher asked little Jonny why he stood up. Then little Jonny replied, "I just felt bad seeing you standing here alone."

So I was at high school one day in the bathrooms, and I'm circumcised, and the kid next to me wasn't, so he showed me his pp, and he had a foreskin, so I was just playing with it until the teacher walked in, then I got fired...

What did the cheetah tell the other cheetah when they had a test?

"Cheetah, cheetah!"

Schools be like "dRuGS arE BaD," then prescribe a 6-year-old Adderall for not wanting to sit in the same spot for 8 hours.

I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.