Education jokes

Teacher: What’s 2+2?

Jimmy: 2+2=feEesh

Teacher: Well, Jimmy I can see you're going places, not college, but places.

Year 10 English.

I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.

Why didn't the right angle go to college? Because he had 90 degrees.

Why do elves go to school?

To learn the elf-abet.

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?

What was the scariest thing Helen Keller ever read?

The waffle iron.

Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”

No? Shame, it was real fun.

Marriage is really educational.

When I was single, I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put a fork in the dishwasher.

What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?

A hypoteNUSE!

I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.

I just cut everyone.

My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They gave her a cheese grater and told her it was a book.

The fact I couldn't hear the announcements at my school because the boys in my advisory are clapping with no hands should be a joke just in itself. They were making sexual faces as well, oh, and don't forget the moaning they do.

Why are clips 30 rounds? Because that's the average class size.

If a mentally challenged person shows up late,

Is it ok to call him tardy?

Why are Asians good at math?

Because the dog can’t eat their homework.

I’m enyaw and I fancy my PE teacher. She is called Kelly Pearce and I go to Beckfoot Oakbank. I always watch her because I am a creep. I live at school under the stairs, but I also try [to] follow her home, and if I'm unsuccessful I look her up on a dodgy website and go on Google maps and look at her door.

Teacher: Tell me what's the solution of this equation? 30g + 24y + 15a - x^3 = 0

Student: 69 gay = xxx

Teacher: You're out!!!

Student lies down on the floor, and then teacher starts f...ing him ^_*

😂😂😂😂

Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.

“Correct,” says the teacher.

The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”

Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.

“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.

“Correct again,” says the teacher.

The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.

This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”

Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”

The teacher fainted.